Banchod India

Bastards hoodwinked the gullible masses of India in the name of development..

The masses didn’t ask, development for who?

No sir, we are happy to be led by religious bigots and extremists, knowingly or unknowingly, because,

We don’t give a fuck about women in our country, we love to treat them as sex slaves and baby breeding machines, but we love to hear the word development.

We are so fucking idiotic that we will believe any crap that is uttered by our esteemed Prime Minister, because we are a bunch of fools who worship rocks and dicks and love to hear the word development.

We so fucking love to bask in the non-existent past glories and will believe that mythology is history, we don’t want to be shown the reality, we call ourselves the most richly cultured people on the face of the earth and will tell the women that get raped that it was their fault… because, we sir, are Indians, we love hearing the word development.

We will riot and burn someone else’s property because we are offended by books and movies and words and jokes… oh don’t you get it, we are fucking offended by every damned thing on earth. But, we like to tell the world that we are a country of great people and history and we love peace and we are also very proud to be a very tolerant society… but, hey don’t you dare write a book that exposes us, and don’t you dare use expletives, those words make us think of sex because we don’t know that expletives have nothing to do with having sex… it’s not that we don’t fuck, oh, we fuck all right.. we do that with unwilling strangers, we do it in groups and make videos of them and circulate them as mms, because we love watching someone getting raped… wait wait.. but we are a very cultured people and our country has rich heritage and we idolise Rama. Oh yes, we love to vote for people who give lengthy speeches about development.

Some of us call ourselves liberals, moderates, at times even non religious… who gives a shit what those words even mean… but we will jump in, join the mob in protest against corruption, you see, we are a democratic country.. because we love to hear the words development and anti-corruption.

We sir, are a nation of a billion morons, we ban books, we ban art, we ban clothes, we ban foods, we ban words, we ban love, because sir, we are a banchod nation.

We love to hear the word development, because we are the uneducated degree holder middle class masses of India who will pay all our savings to hear criminals tell us what colour stone I have to wear on which finger on which day and which coloured dress I should match up with that ring so that my daughter doesn’t get raped like that poor girl in the bus in Delhi… But.. why was she out with a male friend at 10 pm in the night? And she should have some shame, if she wears skimpy clothes, the men will only get aroused and they will attack… bastards… they should be castrated and should be hanged. But girls should not go out in the night… what is the need. Oh, we love lighting candles too..

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What will I say if I were to meet any god?

As per the abrahamic religions if a judgement day ever comes, or as per Hinduism if I were to ever attain moksha (I should, as per the texts, because all I have done in my life is save people’s lives and be honest) and meet any of the gods, I will spit in his face and ask him,

1. How dare you create all the universe and animals capable of thinking just because you had nothing better to do and wanted to enjoy the misery of countless beings when you being all powerful and all knowing could have chosen either not to create anything at all or create a perfect universe filled with happiness.

2. If anybody has done anything wrong in their lives, it is not their fault because you chose to create them that way, so you are responsible for everything hence you deserve to be in hell not them.

3. I have better morality than you so it will be better for you as well every living thing in the universe if you gave all your power to me so that I can undo what you have done.

What do you say people, would this be a good opening statement with any “god”?